3-Month Update

Let me tell you more about my newest love...

Irresistible

Damsel in distress

Brynlee is such a joyful baby. She will smile at anyone that shows her any affections. She knows what she wants and is pretty vocal with letting you know if what you just did was a good decision or not. She prefers to stand and resists when you try to sit her. She is a stomach sleeper and enjoys her paci. Her favorite things to do are: take a bath, play under the toy gym and be held in mom's arms.

She has started LAUGHING OUT LOUD- WHAT?! I couldn't get Brenna to laugh till after age one so I wasn't expecting this. Her hair still stands straight up naturally but has started to fall down some. I will sure miss that wild hair! She notices Brenna more and more and could care less about the cat. She sleeps in her crib about 8-9 hours at night and takes 4 naps a day.

I am enjoying having her around so much. She is just what I needed! We have stayed home a lot more than we used to, but that's okay, sleep is important! We are hoping she's a great traveling buddy as we leave for Hawaii in less than a week. *fingers crossed!*

Needing Grace

I have been in a slump lately with the kind of mother that I am... I don't know where all my energy went. I thought I knew things that turns out I didn't. I thought I could rely on things that I actually couldn't.

Did you think you'd be the mom who could somehow "manage it all"? Did you think you'd be the mom that came up with creative ideas at mealtime and activities throughout a day? Holidays especially? Did you think you'd be able to be patient in each stage of your child's life without anger rearing it's ugly head? Did you think you'd be able to get yourself ready while doing the same for each child? Did you think you'd be able to spiritually guide and influence your child daily?

Gosh, I sure did.

I imagined myself in such different ways. I struggle with the where I want to be and where I am.

I always thought I'd have an answer to every question my child asked me... An answer that was thoughtful and explained exactly what I needed to convey. I always thought I'd be able to enjoy the time I spent at home all day, rain or shine. I thought I'd be able to be patient without losing control of my words because you just DO with a child. I thought I could figure out a schedule, no problem.. And stick to it! I thought I could read a parenting book and implement helpful tips- Ha!

Now some of this I know is about [unrealistic] expectations. But my heart is just crying out the Lord for His grace lately because I'm in desperate need of it. I feel like an overgrown garden, needing to be weeded out so there's more space and beauty to abound. I also realize I may have been more of a control-freak than I ever wanted to see. Balancing in life is sure tough.

I can't tell my friends how much I appreciate them at this exact stage in my life because so many have shared similar struggles and it's what keeps me asking for grace and not losing hope. <3