Hanging in There

The past seven days have been kind of emotional for all sorts of reasons. There's been a lot of different thoughts consuming my mind that even last night I had a horrible nightmare (Joe later told me I told him that someone was breaking in the house and was trying to sexually assault me!) and he instantly prayed for me. Nothing that tragic has happened, didn't want to make anyone wonder! :) 

I did want to blog about an old friend trying to come back into my life. My ex-best friend of five years has been out of my life now for three years. As life turns out, we share one mutual friend who happens to be getting married in three weeks. We are both attending. It would be our first encounter knowingly. Throughout the years I've ran into her a handful of times but never did we converse. In fact, I avoided her. There was a lot of pain there and a lot of anger, but God has helped me forgive her. So a week or so ago, she texted me asking me to attend the wedding with her. Wth? What does that mean? After a brief conversation, I did agree to meet with her one-on-one for some closure and she wanted to ask my forgiveness. I felt God preparing me for this meeting for months now. We were going to meet Thursday last week. Thursday morning she canceled. I really wasn't surprised, but I was bothered nonetheless. So that's one big reason why I've been out-of-sorts, I think.

Being a mom of an almost two-year-old is surreal! On one hand I'm excited and planning her party, on the other hand I'm reminded that I don't have another child yet, nor am I pregnant. Since my miscarriage in January, I wasn't ready to try again till summer. With everyone getting pregnant, it's made me think about it more. But it's still scary at the same time, too. I have adjusted to life so well with one child and I don't want to shake things up! I love our routine and how well-adapted Brenna is in every situation. She's a perfect sleeper and eater. She can get herself in her own car seat and is a great communicator. Will I have the time to do so many things with the next child? Will I even care to? Will it totally overwhelm me like I think it will? Another reason I've been a little emotional.

A lot happened in my childhood (with other children, especially) that will make me extremely overprotective of my kids. Not only will I most likely ban sleepovers, but I have a hard time even letting Brenna play with another child in a separate room from where I am. I don't trust kids' curiosity, whether they're related or not. After grieving the fact that I felt so unprotected as a child, I shared with my mom what I think is most important as a parent: Teach your children to self-protect! I wish I had known. I wish I had learned. I wish I knew what to do/say, etc. Talk to your kids at a young age about what is appropriate and what isn't when it comes to touching. It's a MUST. You cannot afford to ignore this aspect of parenting. Just ask me. 

Okay, so enough of the serious stuff! But that's what blogging is for, I guess. There's times to be real and there's times for silliness. I know that God is going to give me peace, strength and healing as I seek him and allow him to comfort me. For so long I ignored topics, even with myself. It's worth it to me to deal with things now so Brenna has a better chance, a better example, and a better parent. 

Marriage Irony

There's a book I often think of that I read when we were first married. It's called The Color Code. Joe and I realized early on that he is a 'red' personality and I am a 'blue' personality. It's comical really! God seriously has a sense of humor. I still laugh to this day when I skim through it (which I did this week) for new revelations. Here's what it says about our combination:

"BLOOD, SWEAT, AND TEARS"
      -No other combination of personalities must work as hard to be successfully compatible as Reds and Blues. Both want to be in control. However, their motives, needs, wants, and behaviors are mostly opposite. Theirs is a difficult union, and yet the strong sense of commitment and loyalty they share substantially increases their chances for success [finally some good news!]" 

I wonder what other couples we know also have this combination! Good thing that Joe and I are fighters and anyone who knows us know that we've been through hell and back, so the overview is surely fitting.

OVERVIEW

Red VS. Blue
-power--- intimacy
-to be right----to be understood
-to be respected----to be appreciated
-approval of a few----general acceptance
-to please self----to please others (sigh, very true for me)
-challenging adventure----security
-high productivity------strong perfectionism
-demanding----demanding (HA! HA!)
-unforgiving but moves on------unforgiving and resentful (Ouch, God's really worked on us both in this area, but it can be true!)
-responsible-----responsible
-does not seek advice-----seeks advice from knowledgeable people
-arrogant----self-righteous (who, meeee?) ;)
-proactive-----pessimistic
-doesn't love easily but strong commitment-----loves deeply and is disappointed by those who can't love

That's just to name half! =)


I didn't write this to embarrass either of us. Not at all! It's actually REALLY neat to me to see how after five (almost six) years that we have learned to coincide very happily! We have both been open to change and have owned our mistakes. I just think this type of thing is so interesting, too! All couples should take the test and see what each other's strengths and limitations are and see how you can better understand your mate.

Here's another funny way of looking at our combination:
[high productivity vs. strong perfectionism]
Red: If a job's worth doing, let's stop talking and get it done.
Blue: If a job's worth doing at all, it's worth doing right.

In all honesty, reading through this book has helped me gain a deeper appreciation for who my husband is and how he ticks. It's helped me understand his personality more and to accept him for who he is! That's huge for me considering I tend to be a perfectionist and self-righteous. But ya know..... when you mix blue with red you get..... purple. My favorite color. See, it was meant to be =)

I love you Joe! I love how much you've challenged me to grow and how you've always accepted me for me. <3

Enjoying Toddlerhood!

Brenna is three months away from her SECOND birthday! This is yet another one of my favorite ages. But I always say that. =)

What I like most, is that she loves back. In so many fun, new ways! It will never get old saying to her "I love you" and her saying "Love you too!" Or when I do something comical, to hear her say "Silly mommy!" And when she gets hurt, to have her come right away to me and say "Kish it better, mommy!" *Kiss* A smile and an "All better!" 


I just really enjoy her company and who she is as a little person. With Joe's intense work schedule, her and I have spent more time together alone than usual. Bedtime is usually his routine so I've really enjoyed being more involved in it and showering her with affection and praise. Recently, I started reading to her each night from her LullaBible that has a poem and prayer highlighting different people right before she sleeps. I am amazed at how this is such a joyful experience for her and how she is constantly asking for her Bible. 


Prayers from a child. Does it get any sweeter? You can understand so much of God's love for us when you watch your child get excited about praying. She has reminded us in the middle of a meal to pray if we had forgotten. Oops!  She likes to fold her hands and say amen at the end. Today she copied a prayer I tailored for her.. I melt a little everyday.


There's nothing more important to me than for my family to be followers of Christ and to love and serve others.

Here are some cute phrases she says and what they mean:
-"Meeska, Mouska, Mickey Mouse!".... let's watch Mickey! (I must admit, I am telling her at different times in the day that we can't watch Mickey bc he's at home sleeping, or taking a nap, etc.) =)
-"Follow me!"... stop everything and let's go outside!
-"Cean up, cean up!"... I'm putting my toys away!
"Mommy, coins!"... grab my piggy bank!
-"Thank you, welcome!"
-We say.. "You are kind..." she says "smart, important!" (Anyone seen The Help?!)
-"New one!"... still remembers her new car seat she got a month ago every time we get into the car.
-"Mommy airplane Sarah!"... she still tells me that everyday :) So funny!

Her memory is by far better than mine. She totally got her dad's genes there. Oh, and not to mention the fact she still looks 100% like him :) 


HER INTERESTS:
-friends
-Mickey Mouse & Minnie Mouse paraphernalia (books, clothes, stickers, you name it)
-her Elmo house with all the characters
-learning news signs... we're on to animals!
-drawing on things she's not supposed to, i.e., on great-grandma's tile floor
-playing with anything with a lid
-sitting on "big" chairs
-playing 'soccer' as she calls it
-counting to ten! she only skips 5
-helping with chores... sweeps, vacuums, feeds the cat, folds and unfolds laundry... I hardly have anything left to do =)
-water, water, water (drinking, playing, etc.)
-putting on clothing items
-perfume, chapstick, lotion


ET CETERA : Still a great sleeper! I could not be more happy that we followed Babywise. I know it's because we sleep trained her since she was a month old. She takes a two hour nap and is to bed by 7:45 and wakes up at 8 a.m. Very consistent, yet flexible. She is a great eater, although she suddenly dislikes almost every vegetable. Sigh. I do have to *force* her to take a bite of certain things. She still does not like tortillas, weird right?! Started to teethe her 2nd year molars but then stopped and still no teeth. Darn it. Totally lets me do her hair every day, wonder how long that's gonna last? She has independent play time in her room now every day for 45 minutes (timer set!). I put up the gate but she likes to just keep the door shut. She does very well with it and I can get myself ready!

Once Brenna turns two, she isn't allowed to get any older! I am also starting to get a longing in my heart for another baby.  It's been four months so I guess it makes sense. Plus summer's about here and I thought that time seemed about right. We shall see! Trusting in the Lord for his timing.