Pregnancy Update

She wanted to "feel" the baby

*PREGNANCY STATS*

STAGE: 2nd Trimester - 14 weeks
BABY SIZE: A lemon
WEIGHT GAINED: 0 pounds
FITNESS: Long walks around Daybreak
SYMPTOMS: Frequent headaches... I'll take it!
CRAVINGS: Sour candy
FASHION: Still get to enjoy my regular clothes... not for long!
TO-DO'S: Buy a comfortable bath pillow, plan a "gender reveal" party!
EXTRAS: I have felt fluttering for a couple weeks; Still no idea if it's a boy or girl; I'm surprised I started showing at 12 weeks this time instead of 20; A perfect pregnancy so far.

Brenna enjoys watching fetal videos on Joe's iphone or on the computer. She talks about wanting a sister and occasionally a brother. She plans to help "buckle him" in car seat and "rock-a-bye her".

This was actually right at 12 weeks... Not wanting to take a photo tonight!

14 weeks

Halloween-Harvest 2012

First off, we decided a week before Halloween to finally announce that we were going to have another baby to our friends! I had a great time figuring out the "perfect way" to do so, with Brenna being the deliverer. I was so relieved that my doctor appointments went well and when I saw the baby again (forgot to ask for printed pics-boo!) we felt like it was time!!!

Due Date!

My sad attempt at our own house

My happy attempt at my Grandmas!

Can't get enough of her!

I have a hard time with Halloween! It's not that I wasn't raised to participate in some way. We went to harvest parties at our church, did "trunk-or-treats" and went door-to-door. For some reason now as a mom I don't like making a big deal about Halloween. I don't decorate. I don't say "Happy Halloween Brenna!" We don't carve pumpkins or go to any witches festivities.

BUT!

I do like to have our own fun and so that's what we did. It was by far our best, most favorite Halloween yet. I also have a rule at our house that Brenna (or any of our future children) cannot dress up as something scary, evil, strange, etc. :) I had already known since last year that I wanted her to be a Utes Cheerleader and she was totally into it too. If you asked her to cheer, she would say, "Gooooo Utes!"

We started off the evening by going to my mother-in-laws work, where she is a nurse for the elderly. They all sat in the hallways, passing out candy to the little ones. Some of the people couldn't talk, some couldn't put candy into the buckets, but you could not deny the joy you saw on everyone's faces! We were so humbled and grateful that we went to Bountiful to see these wonderful people who are sometimes forgotten.

Afterwards, we headed to our church's Harvest Party. It was mind-blowing! It was huge and so well organized. We found out later that there were 2,000 kids there throughout the night. We got to take a family photo with a professional, play a plethora of games where she won plenty of candy, got her face painted, jumped in a bounce house, rode scooters, and petted animals in the petting zoo, all for free! It was a very safe, fun-filled time!

Mom, just give me some candy already!

Checking out her painted U...

She likes it!

Scooters!

Her FAVORITE part of the whole night!

Her and her friend

It wasn't too late for us to stop by Joe's grandparents like we do each year. Brenna got her "num-n-nums" (M&M's) from grandpa and we got carmel apples! My grandma was still up so we stopped by her house, too for some candy and pictures. By 8:45, you think we were done, but we weren't!

Brenna loves the lady that lives across the street from us. So we went and saw "Kimmy" and her boys, who are like 5 & 7. The were ecstatic to see Brenna and Brenna then says, "Can I come in?!".... "SURRRRE!" So in we went for almost a half hour! She picked candy out of the boys' bags (they were VERY sweet & didn't mind at all) and then talked them into getting their shoes and coats on to go see the next door neighbors lawn decorations. I was just laughing at how persuasive she truly is.

BANDIT

It was a wonderful evening and I can't even believe that next year we'll have TWO! Now..... Let the Christmas decor./music begin!!!!!! 

Feelin' "Blue"

"Worry and guilt generally mark the path to most Blues' homes... For wrongs they think they've done, Blues will chastise themselves seemingly forever."  --Taylor Hartman, The Color Code

Basically, you don't need to make me feel guilty, I do it too much all on my own.

I am a true Blue. A loyal, orderly, moody, complex, insecure, worried perfectionist.

This struggle has shown up the most in my friendships. I didn't grow up with siblings. I had friends. LOTS of friends. I craved putting in the time and effort to cultivate lasting friendships. It filled a hole that felt like something was missing. It's heart breaking when at one point or another, I realize:

1) It's over, move on. Let go.
2) I messed it up. I wasn't perfect.

I make a friend for life! (In my perfect world.) I am loyal forever once a friendship is established. I'm very sincere with each friendship. Some people wonder how I can have so many friends. I am the first one to admit that I feel honored and undeserving of people's friendships sometimes because I know I either have let them down or will let them down.

I try to be the "perfect" friend... for their approval, I guess. I put those expectations on myself and I can tell with some friends I must be just that. Perfect. I can't be myself because it's too risky, too much to handle. Being rejected is such a scarring to my heart. I can tell when it's happening and I wish I could say, "You don't need to do that to me. I feel bad enough all on my own."

I never wanted to believe that your friendships change... e.g., different stages, you grow, they grow, you outgrow them, they outgrow you, or that you "really know who your friends are" when 'life' happens. I evaluate myself as a friend often. I want to grow with each friendship, not stop it altogether. I think it's possible with:

• Communication
• Forgiveness
• Quality Time

Ever wish you didn't care so much???  Me too.