One Year Ago...

I was holding her first... calming her with my voice. We instantly bonded and my heart finally knew how it was going to love two little blessings.

That night we knew she was going to have to be a fighter. Low oxygen levels and too much fluid in the lungs, into the NICU she went for eight, long days. She had no name until she was two days old.

Brynlee Joy Walker fought off early signs of pneumonia and finally came home to meet all her family! That day is one of the best days of my life. Seeing Brenna talk to her, touch her, interact with her for the FIRST time was magical. I will treasure that video my whole life. I felt so complete in that moment.

AND NOW.... She's *O*N*E* and SO MUCH FUN! But where did all that time go?? I can't accept that it came so quickly. Here are some of her photos, done by: PS.... Photos by Sally

We had a fun time celebrating her birthday at Grandma and Grandpa Greenbergs! We had a family brunch there to celebrate the big day. A friend of mine helped me with the theme of pink and yellow & balloons!

Cake bites for everyone else!

Everyone wrote a special birthday message on the picture matte for Brynlee

This was fun idea I found off Etsy!

She was excited to try and walk all day because she just figured it out yesterday!

G. & G. Bday loves

Big Sister was a big help opening presents!

Granny Mary made her her own "coat of many colors"!

It's time for cake now- YAY!

She jumped right in!

Biggest smile of the day!

Literally trying to do summersaults afterwards! What a silly baby!

We had a blast celebrating little Brynner's first birthday even though she won't remember it, I always will! We have enjoyed her so much this last year and thank God for her every night. She is just what we needed and it's our joy raising her!


Some extra one-year-old info!


She is walking, talking and expressing frustration very well!

Words she can say: momma, dada, papa, grandma (gamma), gaw gaw, hi, bye, kitty cat, qua-qua, ball, cracker, Brenna (Nenna!), boo,  (Brenna is certain she can say igloo & hippo!) ;)

Things she enjoys: trying to sneak up the stairs, go into Brenna's room and grab anything in sight, empty a drawer as fast as she can, being chased, holding tissues and blowing her nose, peek-a-boo, bubbles, getting into trash cans and eating cat food- OY!





Here are a few favorites from the last few months:

Mommy and Daddy love you to pieces. Every day we marvel at your sweetness and can't get enough!!!

Finding Myself in December

I have a really sweet friend who is a mom of two little beauties about the same age as my girls who inspired me to do a little planning this year for December. I wrote out some ideas and each day we did something fun to prepare us for Christmas. (Thanks Mekensy! <3)

In doing this what I found was an unexpected journey. I thought I would just enjoy seeing the excitement in Brenna's beautiful face & enjoy getting out of the house together, but I also happened to find ME. The New Me. The Mother-Of-Two-Now ME. 

I don't know if it's something a lot of moms just don't talk about or if we just didn't pay much attention to what moms were saying as we were growing up, but it takes T-I-M-E to feel like YOU again after a baby. I can now say this with certainty after two kids and can actually talk about this out loud. A lot of the incredible friends I have are moms who have shared similar experiences.

Sometimes I would wake up and feel disoriented and distracted. I would be overwhelmed so easily over things I used to handle no problem. I knew I had to do x, y & z but instead I sit down and zone out watching a TV show or read a book I can get lost in. Getting myself ready for the day was daunting. A walk outside felt like a marathon. I didn't cook much. Cleaned much less. Stayed home even more. And luckily, the most important things I needed to do were simple: love those children; feed them, hug them, play with them, enjoy them. And that's all my husband wanted me to do, too...

But it was difficult for me to allow myself to let so much go. I am a goer, doer and a (simple) scheduler and that changed. I had to let a lot go and be okay with it until I felt like I could handle some of those responsibilities in a healthy way. I am still getting there, especially with the cooking thing! (Can I get an AMEN?!) So for first time moms, I just hope they know what I didn't know… That it's okay to give yourself time. LOTS of time. Weeks, months and even years to feel like you again. It's different for everyone adjusting to a whole new way of life. But you are normal!


Here are some of the activities (that I got photos of) my family and I did throughout December that brought us all together and helped me plug in to life in a revitalizing way:

Ice Skating

Movie Date- "Frozen"

Family Dinners

Zoo Lights… BRRRR!!!

Building a Snowman

Gingerbread House 101 With Daddy

Made Ornaments

More Family Dinners

Christmas Ring Countdown

Festival of Trees

Professional Pictures with All the Grandkids as a surprise for Grandma and Grandpa!

Baking Day! Yum!

Brynlee's First Christmas

It was a Great Holiday!

Other fun ideas I didn't get photos of were: Going to Menchies (our favorite frozen yogurt shop!), watching Christmas movies together (The Grinch, Charlie Brown Christmas, Frosty), driving around looking at Christmas lights, lots of hot chocolate, and singing "Happy Birthday" to Jesus and letting Brenna blow out the candles. :)

A Baby Dedication Story

"For this child I prayed, and The Lord has given me my petition which I asked of Him. So I have also dedicated him to The Lord; as long as he lives he is dedicated to The Lord." And all of them worshiped The Lord there."
-1 Samuel 1:27-28 

Hannah's heart always astounded me because she really knew what it meant to wait for a child. She had seen her husband's other wife have many children while she remained barren. She cried out to The Lord for a son and He heard her cry and gave her a son. She dedicated him to The Lord in a way none of us could really fathom.

I remember when God comforted and assured me that another baby would come. (I even wrote a poem about it http://jnbwalker.blogspot.com/2012/01/poem-about-gift-of-life.html) This was after many tears and sorrowful moments that lingered after our miscarriage. I was already a mother of a beautiful, healthy child, but I related to Hannah in those moments of uncertainty. I realized just how much control I didn't have and never had. I realized how merciful and loving God truly is.

Seeing God's faithfulness while holding Brynlee in the hospital was incredible. I knew right away the joy she would bring to our lives and that we would dedicate her back to The Lord. For Joe and I, dedicating her means that we dedicate our lives to raising her to follow Jesus. It also means that we commit ourselves to being examples of God's grace and love.

So, today was the day we celebrated that with our church family and extended families. The pastor kept saying how cute Brynlee was and said to everyone, "Okay, everyone on the count of three, one, two three," and everyone said "awwwww!" He prayed over her and she cooed. It was a short but sweet moment I'll never forget!

Her and Brenna wore the same dress for their dedications! It was like holding Brenna all over again!

Our church gave us this beautiful frame! What a special surprise!