Feelin' "Blue"

"Worry and guilt generally mark the path to most Blues' homes... For wrongs they think they've done, Blues will chastise themselves seemingly forever."  --Taylor Hartman, The Color Code

Basically, you don't need to make me feel guilty, I do it too much all on my own.

I am a true Blue. A loyal, orderly, moody, complex, insecure, worried perfectionist.

This struggle has shown up the most in my friendships. I didn't grow up with siblings. I had friends. LOTS of friends. I craved putting in the time and effort to cultivate lasting friendships. It filled a hole that felt like something was missing. It's heart breaking when at one point or another, I realize:

1) It's over, move on. Let go.
2) I messed it up. I wasn't perfect.

I make a friend for life! (In my perfect world.) I am loyal forever once a friendship is established. I'm very sincere with each friendship. Some people wonder how I can have so many friends. I am the first one to admit that I feel honored and undeserving of people's friendships sometimes because I know I either have let them down or will let them down.

I try to be the "perfect" friend... for their approval, I guess. I put those expectations on myself and I can tell with some friends I must be just that. Perfect. I can't be myself because it's too risky, too much to handle. Being rejected is such a scarring to my heart. I can tell when it's happening and I wish I could say, "You don't need to do that to me. I feel bad enough all on my own."

I never wanted to believe that your friendships change... e.g., different stages, you grow, they grow, you outgrow them, they outgrow you, or that you "really know who your friends are" when 'life' happens. I evaluate myself as a friend often. I want to grow with each friendship, not stop it altogether. I think it's possible with:

• Communication
• Forgiveness
• Quality Time

Ever wish you didn't care so much???  Me too. 

Self-Protecting

This is going to be one of my most passionate blogs yet. I find that as I get older, especially now that I am a mother, this topic is something I want to scream from my rooftop to every single person I know because we all have kids in our lives that we love.

I just finished watching today's episode of Dr. Phil. Two brave victims from the Jerry Sandusky sex abuse case shared their stories in hopes to impact the lives of others. Dr. Phil ended with this life-changing advice that will resound with me today and always and I hope everyone will read this and truly understand how important it is to teach children to self-protect.

So in case you missed it, here is what he had to say:
"You can't always be there (to protect your children) and you need to know as much as you can about who you're exposing your children to (teachers, youth leaders, pastors, priests, coaches, etc.) Teach your kids to not give people the benefit of the doubt (but gather information). Instead, teach your kids to trust their instincts. If it doesn't feel right it probably isn't. And if you say no and you're wrong you will not get in trouble. It is okay for you to say no... you do it and talk to me about it. We've got your back and we will take care of you."

I honestly feel like this information could save children from abuse if we all would have those talks with our kids (age appropriate of course) but there are small steps you can take when they're 2+. I have started teaching Brenna in a simple way. I hope you will try with your kids, too!

OH "TWO"DLES!

I may have found a new passion of mine--party planning! I have never been more excited to plan Brenna's second birthday party on Tuesday. I found some of the cutest ideas on Pinterest (woot!) and ran with it. We kept the party small this year, only inviting our closest friends and family. (Last year we invited around 70 people!)

We got a lot of compliments on her invitation first of all. A big thanks to BlitzDesignz on Etsy, we found this to match our "Mickey Mouse Clubhouse" theme:

To start of her special day, Joe and I expended all our air blowing up almost 100 balloons to put in her room while she slept. I was so excited for her to wake up and see! I video recorded her reaction so we'd always remember the simply joy and awe that radiated from her little face. Maybe we'll do it each year, not sure yet!

I then brought her out and showed her her brand-new Minnie Mouse outfit she got to wear all day. Of course the party girl had to really get into the spirit!!! She helped me bake her cupcakes
eat the cake batter while I started preparing food for the party in the kitchen. While she was taking an awesomely long (3.5 hrs.) nap, my mom and I decorated for the party. When Brenna came out of her room and saw it, she literally walked around saying "whoooa...", followed by jumping up and down, & trying to touch each thing her little hand could reach.

I had help (from Pinterest & my fam) preparing the food! This is what we ended up serving:

It was a hit! Adults and children loved it and everyone was happy. Who doesn't like eating like a kid?? We all then headed to the backyard for a Scavenger Hunt! I'm sure I was more excited than anyone else about playing this! In the backyard, were 32 hidden circles that matched each child's game board (only 4 circles/child) where they searched for theirs with help from their parent. Each child got a prize for finding theirs... life is still fair when you're 1-4 years old, I think. =) The funny part is, we found two circles in our yard the next couple days, lol!

We brought the cupcakes up and the kids gathered around. Brenna sat there staring at her cupcake with more self-control than I thought she could ever muster. She then started singing to herself- "Happy Birday to Menna!" It was priceless! She really, really, really liked people singing to her. I could tell she felt very special. She even waited to blow the candle out till we were all done.

Presents were next & last! She had lots of help from her little friends/cousins who were there. She got lots of toys, books, outfits, a drawing board, basketball hoop, and her Precious Moments princess from her daddy that has the number 2 on it to add to her little collection. Her and I had practiced all day, and then the time came when I said "Brenna has something to say.." then she said, "Thank you everybody!!!" I was a proud mom, for sure! She then gave every single person hugs and gave her little friends their treat bag to take home.

It was a huge success and I am so happy that Brenna enjoyed her birthday so much this year! I feel like I could burst having her in my life every day and I am so glad we were able to make her day so special. Thank you to all of our friends and family who came and celebrated with us!

XOXOXOXOXXXXXXXXXXX

A special thanks to BROOKE, one of my bff's who came over to our house and took these adorable pictures of Brenna... she is a total professional to me! Thank you so much!!!